Attention: This Is Not A Fic Dive

Basically, I thought that instead of just giving y'all a bunch of fics I've been glued to lately, I'd go fic diving over at ff.net and see what brand spanking new THG fics I could find to recommend. Needless to say, the fics were not of a high quality...so here I am. Recommending some new, some not so new fanfics that will rock your socks.


A Good Life by fembuck (Janine)
Ship: Johanna/Mrs Everdeen
Summary: Sometimes people find what they need in the strangest of places.
A brilliant and poetic femmeslash fic with one of the rarest pairings in the fandom. This different point of view of Katniss and the rest of the gang during and after Mockingjay, and the intimate relationship drawn by Janine of Johanna and Emily is astounding. This fic can blow everyone else out of the water for originality!

the unavoidable sun (here it comes) by electrumqueen
Summary: Gale Hawthorne and Madge Undersee are selected for the 74th Hunger Games.
This fic is so wonderfully AU. Madge and Gale's relationship is done in electrumqueen's standard awesome fashion. the unavoidable sun really makes you ponder what could have happened between these two. With descriptive language like, "Cinna sets Gale on fire, and Portia makes Madge into diamonds, and when they hold hands the light catches them and makes them transcendant", electrumqueen makes this fanfic a real beauty.

The Boy With The Trident by queenofglass

Summary: “While other tributes that year were hard-pressed to get a handful of grain or some matches for a gift, Finnick never wanted for anything, not food or medicine or weapons.” How Finnick Odair won the crown, wooed Panem, and became a legend.

This is a brand new fic looking at Finnick Odair's Hunger Games. It's a WIP. This author does a fabulous job of characterising Finnick as a young teenager and of fleshing out the Capitol world that we come to know. Mags and the prep team are great, as is Finnick's family. A must read for Finnick or pre-THG era fans!

Happy reading!

~ Little Miss Mionie

Christmas Fanfics

Yuletide Hunger Games fics, folks!

'HG Christmas Card' by Aleatoire09 on dA
(http://aleatoire09.deviantart.com/)

While the egalitarian in me thinks what about all the other people who don't celebrate christmas in place of another religious or cultural tradition this time of year, or don't celebrate anything at all?, I can't deny that Christmas is a dominant trend in a lot of fandoms - including The Hunger Games. If you're looking for some holiday Hunger Games cheer this week, here are a few great chrissy fics to get you in the jolly mood!!


A Very Mellark Christmas by HalfHope
Summary: Peeta and the kids have finally managed to get Katniss to celebrate Christmas. Will she stay a Grinch or embrace the traditions?
Why? Katniss acting like a Grinch is hilarious. This is a very heart-warming future fic!


Christmas In District Twelve by Winterowl312
Summary: I don't even know if Panem celebrated Christmas - it seems unlikely with the starving districts and the oppressive government- but let's pretend they had!
Why? It's a romantic little snapshot in the lives of Katniss and Peeta. And this lovely looks like a first-time writer, so give her some support and reviews!


Christmas Cheers by Medea Smyke
Summary: AU, fluffy little one-shots for the holidays. Part 3 - Madge and Gale try to give one another the perfect gift for Christmas, in "Gift of the Madgepie." 
Why? This fic is a classic in terms of holiday-hg-fics. A must read!


Crīstes mæsse by Astoria Potter
Summary: It's Christmas in Panem, and for two people, it's a time for amends and truth. Gale/Johanna, Finnick/Annie, Peeta/Katniss, Haymitch/Maysilee.
Why? It's a well-thought out and wonderful exploration of the post-mockingjay world during Christmas time.


Christmas Behind Closed Doors by Miss Scarlett 05
Summary: Katniss and Peeta try to outwit their children and find some alone time on Christmas Eve.
Why? It's a sweet, in character, not-too-cheesy look at Christmas post-mockingjay.


Happy holidays!
~ Little Miss Mionie

Interview with Medea Smyke!

I'm very happy to presenting you all with an interview with a fabulous author, and friend of mine, Medea Smyke. If you're a Gadge fanatic, you've most likely read her fics; they are legendary for that ship! Medea's fics are a currently very popular in the Hunger Games fandom, and with her being such a wonderful writer too, I thought I'd take the chance to interview her and gain some insight into her writery ways. This is a must see for fans of An Extra Dividend and And So We Run Redux!!
 ~ Little Miss Mionie


LMM: Thanks for doing this, Medea.


MS: Thanks for interviewing me! 


LMM: All right, I'll get straight into it. What made you start writing Hunger Games fanfiction?

MS: Well, I didn’t mean to. At the time I was happy writing for “Lord of the Rings” (LOTR). A friend of mine recommended the “Hunger Games” series to me shortly after CF came out. I browsed through the stories on FFN and couldn’t find anything on Gale/Madge (Gadge) as a pairing, (except a few K/P fics where they were sort of tucked into the background), so I ended up having to write it for myself! That spelled the end for my LOTR days, alas. 

LMM: You are renowned in the fandom for writing realistic and rounded portrayals of Gale and Madge in a romantic relationship. What drew you to this pairing? What do you love about it?

MS: Madge and Gale piqued my interest as a shipper as soon as he made that backhanded comment about her dress in HG. I grew up reading Pride and Prejudice, Anne of Green Gables, and Much Ado About Nothing were the love interests spend a majority of the story at odds. I love that flavor of romantic tension. Then when Madge showed up with the morphling in CF, there was no going back for me. Besides, I was rooting for Peeta to win Katniss. ;) 

Gadge makes for a dynamic pairing. Some might say that pairing Gale off with Madge would’ve been a  “too easy” solution, but I disagree. Turning Gale into a douche tool was taking the easy way out. Anyway. There are a lot of angles to take with Gadge, with the class issues, their stances about the rebellion, prejudice and presuppositions about one another that are present in HG, etc. Their relationship with others in the town also make them interesting to write about. They’re both friends with Katniss but on a very different spectrum. What I also love is that they are minor characters (Madge more so than Gale), which leaves plenty of “off screen time” for fanfiction writers to play with. One of the best examples of this is Solaryllis’s Rebel Like You. 

LMM: Do you find, predominantly writing a fanon pairing (Gale/Madge), that it is harder to get your stories read and reviewed? Or are Gadge fans very dedicated in their love and reviews for Gadge fics?

MS: At first, yes, it was difficult to get readers, let alone reviews. One can’t expect to get the same amount of reviews than a K/P story would. I started writing Gadge shortly after CF came out and I think the pairing was a bit of a surprise to people or downright distasteful. Folks either ignored Gadge fics or they left me interesting reviews with their negative opinions. The G/K/P triangle was still up in the air, at that point, so there was a bit more emotion behind shipping. Even now, few people think seriously of Madge as a character, let alone as a love interest for Gale. On the flip side, though, writing Gadge did draw other Gadgers out of the woodwork and I made some great friends in the fandom that way. Now there is a definite backing for Gadge within the fandom and far more writers to choose from. When Mockingjay came out there was definitely a question about whether or not Gadge would survive, but I think the ship is as strong as ever. Maybe more so. There’s a certain level of canon defiance required to be a Gadger, and that’s always fun. ;) 

LMM: You have a habit of resurrecting Madge Undersee in your fics. Any chance we’d see an angsty fic where Gale mourns her, or sees her for the last time during the bombs? Or are you committed to keeping it AU?!

MS: LOL! I am an emotional coward, so something that angsty would probably break my wee heart. Besides, whenever I sit down to write drama, humor always gets in the way. I have made a cozy corner for myself in AU, and I don’t see dislodging myself anytime soon. There are plenty of other Gadge writers who thrive writing angst, so I’ll leave them to it. 

LMM: You have a talent of for writing our fave Hunger Games characters at all stages of their lives – during the rebellion, facing parenthood – and all of your fanfiction stories are quite different in terms of narrative and genre. Do you deliberately try and write different things? Or has it all just sort of…happened? 

MS: Hmm. It’s a bit of both, part whimsy part deliberation. I do try to make different characters sound different, if successful, the way Collins writes them, so my Gadge stories will be different from the one I wrote about Finnick. She did a fabulous job giving her cast unique voices, so that may account for different narrative styles I use to accommodate them. 

My ideas for stories tend to start with a smattering of dialogue or a random scene and suddenly the whole story unfolds. It can be quite random. For And So We Run Redux, that mammoth story stemmed from the drabble I wrote when I pictured Gale showing up at Madge’s home to help her escape. The first installment of Christmas Cheers started when I was looking for Christmas ideas for my little nephew who was about to be born. The little outfit that says “My Other Bottle’s a Beer” turned into a gift from Haymitch and voila.  They’re quite different stories and that depends totally on whatever random idea pops into my head. Sometimes these develop into full-out stories, sometimes they end up on the shelf. 

LMM: An Extra Dividend is your most acclaimed Hunger Games fic. A lot of fans wondered what happened to Gale post-Mockingjay, and it seems like An Extra Dividend is an idea that a lot of people hope would have happened in canon. What was the writing process like?

MS: Writing An Extra Dividend was probably the most beautiful writing experience I’ve had so far, LOL. Most stories I’ve written have required a lot of hair-pulling and existential crises, but this one seemed to write itself. A large part of that owed itself to lifting half of the plot directly from the play The Shop Around the Corner. The letter-writing, misunderstanding and romance come from the play, while the secondary plot of the Capitol loyalists infiltrating the system was something I added. I have the hardest time with plots, so with that difficulty out of the way, I got to focus on characterization and dialogue - the fun things. What was also unique about AED was that I had the majority of the story written before I began posting. That made a huge impact on my ability to revise each chapter, so I was able to publish a new chapter every week to two weeks. Knowing where the story would ultimately go made revision a much smoother process. It took me about three months to grind out the rough draft, and only a few months more to post the entire thing. Amazing, considering that Redux took me a year. 

LMM: As We Run Redux: Part II is also one of the fandom’s most popular AU fanfics. Have you been surprised by the response considering it is very alternate? I mean, apart from writing a strong characterisation of Gale that was bound to get applause from Gale fans, Redux II has had fanart drawn for it twice.

MS: I've been lucky to have some folks over at Deviant Art draw up some scenes from my stories. They're all awesome! My absolute favorite has to be this artwork for Quintus McFarlane, the pilot in And So We Run II, by Apricotteacup and I can't talk it up enough. 

(The image won't work on blogger, but you can find it here on deviantart.)
When I started Redux it wasn’t strictly AU yet, it was speculative fanfiction, which I think is a distinction and certainly where the draw came from. It certainly became AU, though, after Mockingjay’s release.  By then, though, the story was about wrapped up. I think I’m surprised when any of my stories do well, but given the timing, I think that helps explain why the story had a draw. I doubt Redux II would be nearly as successful if it had been written after the publication of MJ, which established post-CF canon.  In fact, I miss those days before Mockingjay, where authors were able to post stories with their own version of events without having to explain how it differed from canon, since canon hadn’t been revealed yet. We saw some of my favorite fics during that period between CF and MJ, with stories like Holymfwickee’s (then Kenoshachick) Scars.  There’s a certain thrill in speculative fanfiction where anything is game, which deliberate AU doesn’t make up for.
LMM: You love YA fiction. Do you find any part of YA helps you in writing? Eg, writing Gale, Madge and Katniss as teenagers in Redux II – because although everything is very serious in that fic, you’ve written it just like Collins in the idea that you don’t forget that they’re all teenagers going through hell.

MS: LOL, YA fiction has helped me remember how awful being a teenager was and all the emotional wackiness. For the record, it wasn’t that long ago, but I spent all of high school trying to get out of high school, so I don’t think I took advantage of the cool things too, which YA fiction also reminds me. Teens are in this great phase (okay, it didn’t feel great at the time) where they are still adolescent yet turning into adults. So teen characters can be spontaneous when they need to be, but also incredibly mature at the same time. We also see Katniss and Gale thrust into these adult roles, so they have this maturity-beyond-their-years thing going on coupled with occasional hiccups that make for some dynamic characterization.  

LMM: Moving onto something a bit more fun…I giggle-snorted so hard while reading Peeta’s Honeymoon Survival Kit (co-written by Geeky-DMHG-fan.) Was it a challenge to inject humour into such a serious fandom?

MS: Ha! No. I don’t think I could write anything else but humor for long. The darker the series gets, I think something in me feels the need to balance it out with light. When Geeky and I wrote PHSK, we were both pretty upset with how Mockingjay turned out and I think we both wanted to write something that would take our minds off of it and reclaim the characters we enjoyed. Writing drama is so difficult for me - at least - writing it straight. There are some intense moments in some of my fics, but it never lasts long before some joke bubbles through, or the characters do something absurd. I can’t seem to help it. Even SC can’t seem to help it, either. Just think of the scene in Hunger Games where Katniss makes Peeta wear a backpack over his groin even though he’s on death’s door. So funny! 

LMM: What inspires you to write?

MS: The absence of the stories I want to read is one inspiration, certainly. For fanfiction, it’s the desire to speculate about where a story will go (when canon isn’t established) or to keep characters alive (Madge!) or to play with a favorite pairing (Gadge!). The characters themselves are inspiring. I miss them when the story is over and want to know more about what they’re up to, so I make it up. 

LMM: What’s your favourite Hunger Games book, and why? Does it directly reflect the type of fanfics you write?

MS: Difficult question! I tend to blend Hunger Games and Catching Fire together into one story.  If I had to pick between the two of them, I suppose I would choose Hunger Games. We’re learning about Katniss’s world for the first time. The arena is my favorite here and we get to see a whole lot of Peeta. The world is also a little less complicated than it starts to become in Catching Fire when President Snow and the rebellion really inject themselves into Katniss’s life. The story feels more contained and surprising. 

I don’t like Mockingjay at all, so that certainly reflects the type of fanfics I write. I incorporate what we know from HG and CF and pretty much ignore the canon after that point. It feels strange to fly in the face of canon, especially coming from LOTR where canon knowledge was integral to a story’s success, but MJ is unacceptable so I’ve had to adapt my sensibilities. 

LMM: You’ve been writing fanfiction for around ten years. Do you feel (like I do) that your most recent work – which is for the Hunger Games fandom – is your best yet? Why or why not?

MS: Definitely. I tend to always feel like whatever I’m working on is the best as it benefits from a culmination of whatever I’m learning about the craft of writing. Plus, it’s fresh. In the Hunger Games, as opposed to LOTR, I also don’t feel overshadowed by writers who have been in the fandom much longer than me, since it is a brand new baby fandom. It’s been awesome to be part of building and creating fanon rather than entering into an already established fandom. That’s certainly helped my writing.  

LMM: What are your thoughts on Hunger Games fanfiction in general? How does it compare to other fandoms you’ve written in – and is this a good or bad thing? (Eg. You’re unlikely to find an AU “all-human” a la Twilight fic in this fandom. Everything is quite canon based in terms of setting.)

MS: As I mentioned above, HG is a new fandom. I don’t feel lost in the shuffle the way I would in a larger, older fandom like Lord of the Rings, or in very popular ones like Harry Potter and Twilight. It boggles my mind and I would feel too overwhelmed to try and get a fic wedged into one of those fandoms. 

HG fanon, the facts that we take for granted even though they aren’t in the books, is still under construction. I like helping create it. For example, Gale’s catchphrase, “Hell’s teeth” has gone viral. I doubt folks realize that came from And So We Run Redux. It’s nice to be a part of creating fanon instead of walking into a fandom where these kinds of little details are established and expected. 

LMM: Since we are a recommendation site, I thought it would be fun to ask: What are some of your favourite fics?

MS: Right now I am thoroughly enjoying Solaryllis’s fics, particularly Rebel Like You and On What Grounds. Her treatment of Gale and Madge is spot on. She writes intelligent plots with plenty of intrigue and a really cute dog named Zipper. 

Holymfwickee recently published a continuation of her Always Trust Your Wingman fic to include a juicy two-chapter story on Madge and Gale called Double Date. Even though she is best known for her Katniss/Peeta fics, she always puts great perspective on Madge and Gale as individuals and as a couple. 

Fans of Jo and Gale will enjoy Miss Scarlette 05’s crackfic called Pants.  Even people like me who don’t like Jo and Gale together will enjoy it. Just don’t read and drink at the same time unless you have something on hand to clean off your monitor. 

And my favorite Gadge of all time by Geeky-DMGH-Fan is Peeta Mellark Ruined My Life. 

LMM: Are there any secrets, spoilers or titbits of information about any of your HG fics that you’d like to let your readers know about? Perhaps calm down an hysteria about a recent cliff hanger, for instance?

MS: Well, I don’t have anything that I’m posting at the moment, so there aren’t any secrets or spoilers or hysteria. Not that I know of. 

LMM: Can you give us an exclusive and tell what fanfic endeavours you’ve got coming up? :)

MS: Sure! Currently, I am working on two new instalments for my annual Christmas Cheers collection. There will be two different pairings. I’m sure it’s obvious what at least one of the pairings will be. ;) 

After that, I hope to actually begin working on a Hazelle/Mr. Hawthorne “pre-Gale” fic. It will be a romantic fic about how they they fell in love. It will also explore the reasons why Katniss and Gale didn’t know each other until after both of their fathers were killed, even though both of their fathers hunted (which no one else in 12 did) and worked on the same crew in the mines. If Mr. Hawthorne and Mr. Everdeen knew each other, why were their families so separate? I’ve got some ideas about that. 

LMM: Finally, what’s your favourite THG fanfiction that you’ve written?

MS: Oh boy. Erm. Well, I think it has to be An Extra Dividend and possibly I See You. AED was super fun to write. Although, I See You is a Katniss/Gale fic, it feels a little more like the Hunger Games to me. I don’t know. I don’t go back to read my stories often, but when I do, I go back to that one.


You can find Medea Smyke and her fics on fanfiction.net. 

An Assortment of Fics I've Been Reading Lately...

A medley of fics!

I wanted to recommend a bunch of great fics that really caught my attention lately - and I figured what the hell, I'll just put them in one post despite the fact that there isn't any commonality tying them together (unless you count awesomeness as a common factor.) Anywho, I hope you enjoy these THG fics :) Don't forget to tell us in the comments what you think, and to leave the authors a review!

Bang by She's Classy
Ship: Katniss/Peeta
Summary: I hate those damn recordings. After all, it's become obvious that this is all harder on me than it is on him.
Review: Bang is an intense AU fic - a really memorable, almost chilling read. The emotive language is powerful and really carries the fic. Character death and tragedy lie within.


Pleasure To Burn by Howlynn
Ship: Cinna/Katniss
Summary: Katniss and Cinna may have shared more than ability to keep cool in the face of danger. They may have shared burning flames that were more than symbolic.
Review: Howlynn does such a wonderful job making readers believe this pairing; the setting and plot is fab to read.

The Lucky Ones by Ruby Sword
Ship: Gale/Madge
Summary: Everyone knows it's not easy growing up poor in District 12, but does the mayor's daughter really have it any easier? All Madge Undersee wants is a real friend, and to prove she's more than just a girl in a pretty dress.
Review: One of the best Gadge fics I've read. Ruby Sword's characterisation of Gale is spot on - and the chemistry between the two lead characters is enticing.

Learning To Swim by imaginarycircus
Ship: Katniss/Peeta
Summary: Peeta and Katniss grow back together. Takes place at and after the end of Mockingjay.
Review: This lengthy o/s contains one of the best Katniss-and-Peeta's-first-time sex scenes I've ever read. It's a perfect read, sexy and cute at the same time.

Incidentally, Kiddo, Sweet Dreams by Adreus
Ship: Katniss/Peeta
Summary: Because in the end, it's down to what you get and what you don't, and which side outweighs the other.
Review: I heart this fic so much, it's so lovely and melancholy and a perfect continuation of the tone at the end of Mockingjay.

Five Loaves of Bread: Capitol Pastries by aimmyarrowshigh
Ships: Katniss/Peeta, Peeta/Cinna
Summary: The only person who wins the Hunger Games is Snow, and you know it. You gave up happy when you kept playing Snow's games.
Review: This is an amazing, inspired and imagintive fic. V takes this AU story world and its characters to a decadent, grimy extreme.

Hold On To What You Believe by hgfan1111
Ships: Katniss/Peeta, Katniss/Gale, Katniss/Finnick
Summary: Katniss Everdeen is the Victor, but the price that comes with that title may be too high for her to pay. 
Review: This author wonderfully explores the darker side to being a Victor in a tragic AU world. Character death inside.

Saturday Night in The Seam (Gale/Madge)

After a two week break, coming your way will be a few more Hunger Games fanfiction recs from me in the coming weeks! Hope you missed me, haha!

Saturday Night In The Seam is a wonderful three part ficlet by Solaryllis - it's an AU, missing-moment-esque fic not to be missed!

What do people do for fun in District 12 when the threat of immediate death isn't hanging over them? A very unlikely, different explanation for Gale's hostility toward Madge on reaping day. Set pre-HG.

I really, really enjoyed Saturday Night In The Seam. Gadge is a pairing I'm slowly warming up to - after Mockingjay and it's character death I've always thought Johanna would be a good alternative girl for Gale - and I found Solaryllis' portrayal of this ship absolutely delightful. Solaryllis' writing style is wondeful, and without error - but it's the plot and her brilliant execution of characters that are the highlight of this fic. 

When talking to the author, she said of Saturday Night In The Seam, "It's supposed to be a glimpse into the lighter side of District 12, but some of the darkness still snuck in,", which I think is a great summary of the tone of the fic. What I really loved about Solaryllis' piece is that it isn't just a one-shot where the reason why Gale was rude to Madge on reaping day is blurted out for us - we gain insight into the cute, sexual tension fueled catalyst to the hostility :) Unlike a lot of authors, Solaryllis takes the time to set up the scene and to flesh out the characters. 

Saturday Night In The Seam offers a different look at both Gale Hawthorne and Madge Undersee - and an intriguing look at the youth of District 12. I think this fic's setting is a great change of pace for THG fanfic - the setting of a friend's house party at night truly entrenches the fact that the characters that we love started off as normal teenagers. References to the whole seam kids vs town kids social status stuff also makes this fic stand up on its own - Saturday Night In The Seam feels like it really is set in Panem.

The gradual growth of Gale and Madge's relationship fits the scene - and the canon characterisations - perfectly. It really is the starring attraction in Saturday Night In The Seam. I adored the friction between these two, because I felt as though it was very realistic. Gale and Madge wouldn't have interacted much before then because of social status divide, probably only knowing each other through Katniss. The sexual tension, portrayed under the setting of doing something risky at night, makes for a daring and fun fanfic to read.

The mayor's daughter must be thinking of Katniss, too, because she says, "I didn't see Katniss tonight. She wasn't enticed by the free juice and cookies?"

He doesn't deny her implication that the primary attraction of both the play and the after-party was the free nourishment. He sat through that play and he's enduring this party; he's earned whatever he's consumed. Plus, he'd rather people think his motivation in attending these events was mercenary rather than because he wanted to, because he definitely did not want to.

"She's with Prim tonight," he says. That sounds better than saying Katniss was more inclined to hang out with a goat than spend an evening in the forest with Gale. "More free juice and cookies for the rest of us."

"More for some than for others," the mayor's daughter says, raising her eyebrows at him. 

He knows she saw him take the extra juice; maybe she also saw him helping himself to the snacks at this party. Well, so what—everything was sitting out for the taking and he'd have been a fool not to take advantage of it. Then she picks up her two glasses filled with punch. "And I didn't ask for your advice on manners."

"It's not manners," he corrects, a little disgusted that she has any confusion on this issue. "If you don't like someone, tell them to back the hell off."

She looks confused and then smiles sweetly at him. "In that case, please back the hell off."

If you are looking for some great Gadge fanfiction, a fic full of sexual tension, or a fic that shows the Seam in a canonish light, look no further than Solaryllis' Saturday Night In The Seam.

Happy reading!

~ Little Miss Mionie

December's Author of the Month: Heart the Squid

Today we are gathered here in this corner of the internet to honor yet another wonderful author in the THG fandom, known as Heart the Squid!

Heart the Squid has a grand total of three THG stories on ff.net, and yet all three stories demonstrate the skills of a dedicated, skilled writer who truly loves the fandom. Most of her work is character-based, and she really does spend the time to delve into these characters and their journeys, be they canon or original. By the end of each of her fics, the reader feels like they have taken that character's journey, too. Here is an excerpt from the beginning of Mason: A Memoir, her story about Johanna:

Screw that.

Honestly, that's the first thing that goes through my head. No sappy, melodramatic bullshit, just a simple objection. Because there is no way that my name was just called. 

I have things to do. I was supposed to be teaching Wane how to handle a hatchet tomorrow, and what's going to happen to the spider I was going to stick down the back of Sal's shirt? I mean, for christ's sake, I even told mother I'd help make dinner tonight. I was feeling extra benevolent. It's reaping day, even I make an effort to be nice. And now I'm just...done? Sent off to die? So long, Johanna, it's been fun! That's…sudden. Not even a day to get my affairs in order. Who's going to get my stuff? There's not much of it, but Sal would probably appreciate my other shoes (they're girl's shoes, but his are a mess), Wane might like some of my books, when she gets old enough to understand them, and Mother…well, mother can just sell whatever they can't use. 

Barely a second has passed since my name was called, the echo from our stupid Capitol escort's annoying voice is still in the air, microphone feedback still ringing a little. Hardly anyone has even turned to look at me yet. I'm still caught up in my thoughts, unable to move, when an image of Wane's scared face, waving me goodbye from outside the house not ten minutes ago, flashes into my head. And then all of a sudden, I've doubled over and I'm crying like there's no tomorrow. 

Johanna. What the hell are you doing? You don't cry. But I am crying, sobbing into my hands as if I've got a death wish by drowning. Get a grip. GET A GRIP. I try to snap myself out of this episode mentally, but I just cry harder. Then I'm howling and wondering if maybe I'm having an out-of-body experience, because I seem to have lost all control.